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And we're off! What a farce right from the off. Wilkinson kicking towards... well, I don't know the names of the stands, so he's kicking in the wrong direction if you wanted to reach the M3. Anyway, he fluffs the kick-off, the ball bouncing barely 10 yards forwards. Ireland soon have their first feel of the ball in England territory, before the game quickly descends into a bout of possession-swapping.
4 min: WHAT A START BY IRELAND! TRY! England 0-5 Ireland. Tait looks to open Ireland up down the right, going on a brave run, but he's got no support and the ball's turned over. Ireland fling it across the line out right, Sexton kicking through for Bowe to race clear after the ball down the wing and touch down for a dramatic opening score. Wonderful play by the Irish, pretty awful stuff by England.
12 min: The Irish are offside at a ruck, 30 yards out to the right of the posts. The ball's shuttled back to Wilkinson, who attempts a drop goal in the full knowledge he'll have another chance if it misses. Which it does - as does his fairly simple penalty attempt, crashing high off the left-hand post! Oh Johnny! How could you!
14 min: What tatty play all round. Ireland allow the ball to be turned over 20 yards out. England nearly power through the centre, Easter determined, but he's held up a couple of metres from the line. The ball's quickly lost by England - then shed with undue haste by Ireland. The whole farcical phase of play comes to an end with Wilkinson shanking a ludicrously poor drop goal attempt wide right from about 15 metres out tops.
22 min: England are enjoying most of the ball, and plenty of territorial advantage here. They swing the ball right then left, taking turns to set up ruck after ruck on each wing, and even a wee maul at one point. It's an impressive period of possession, but a forward pass spoils all the good work and the pressure's off Ireland.
24 min: Some cock-up or other in the scrum gives Ireland a penalty, a couple of yards in their own half, just to the left of the posts. Sexton decides to have a massive whack at the posts, but while his effort is on line, there's not enough bosh in it - a bit like a news story written for a broadsheet rather than a tabloid - and the score remains the same.
27 min: Sexton sells the onrushing Payne an outrageous dummy - it's real Puskas-Wright fire-engine stuff - and then drops the ball. From the sublime to the preposterous, though handling is difficult in this pelting rain. That was a beautiful trick to watch, just a wee drop of the shoulder to change direction as Payne spread himself dramatically, belly-flopping into a pool of thin air.
And we're off again! Sexton hammers the restart to the far-right corner. Monye claims well. The ball's hoofed up the line, Murphy dropping an easy catch and knocking forward, but Easter had run offside before the kick, and Ireland have a penalty, right on the touchline, just outside the 22. O'Driscoll orders Sexton to kick.
50 min: England allow themselves to be turned over inside their own 22. What a shambles. Ireland throw it across the line and set themselves up just in front of the posts, 10 metres out. They engage in a lot of fannying around, eventually conceding a penalty for not releasing the ball on the ground. This is pretty poor fare. "Gary Naylor has an iPhone?" splutters Mac Millings. "I'm surprised he gets reception in his Mum's basement." I also wonder if he has an app so he no longer needs to carry about his 17-sided dice?
55 min: Wahey! It all kicks off. O'Leary and Care take each other by the throat. O'Leary prevented the ball being released. A penalty, but it's reversed because Care instigated the brawl, shoving the Irish player in the chest and dumping him to the ground. "You can't take the law into your own hands," says the referee. Ireland send the ball towards the corner on the left. That could be a crucial decision. This could be a crucial phase of play.
56 min: TRY!!! England 6-13 Ireland. Oh it could be crucial alright. From the line out, Ireland set themselves up a few yards out under the posts, fairly central. Sexton spots a gap out left, flinging a quick ball out to Earls on the touchline. Earls catches cleanly and drops over the line in one movement, right in the corner.
61 min: England immediately get back on the front foot, pinning Ireland down into the right-hand corner. They have the put-in for a scrum, yards from the Irish line. Twickers screams HEAVE (which has got nothing to do with their whisky consumption). From the set-up, Care and Wilkinson shuttle the ball from the right into the centre, where Tait nearly powers over between the posts. Eventually a gaggle of white and green shirts tips over the line, Cole with ball in hand. But does Best hold him up? The referee goes to video.
62 min: TRY!!! England 11-13 Ireland. Yep, Cole just managed to get the ball down before Best got in the way and lifted the ball off the turf. That's a good decision, with the ball just about visible the middle of a tangle of arms and legs.
62 min and a bit: CONVERSION. England 13-13 Ireland. The ball having been grounded just to the right of the posts, Wilkinson has no bother in stroking it over to level the game. Both teams having exchanged quickfire tries, this is much, much better all of a sudden.
64 min: The clock's been stopped while the stretcher comes on for O'Driscoll. He's sitting up, so hopefully OK, but the Irish physio is taking no chances. He really was whacked on the back of the head, sending his neck whipping back and forth like a saloon door in the breeze.
71 min: DROP GOAL!!! England 16-13 Ireland. Care wheechs down the middle before drifting wide right, a barnstorming run ending with a slightly loose high pass wide right. Foden takes a difficult ball down astoundingly well, cuts back inside and shifts the ball to Wilkinson, who drops a right-footed beauty over the sticks from 30-odd yards, with Irish shirts spreadeagled in front of him. He's not been wearing hot boots today, but that was a wonderfully calm effort. The mark of a truly great player, you could argue.
74 min: WHAT A TRY!!! England 16-18 Ireland. Ireland had been poor for most of the half, and then they suddenly burst into life with this! O'Connell claims a majestic high ball in the line out on the right, dumps it down to O'Leary, who draws a man then feeds the onrushing Bowe. Bowe drops a shoulder and skates past Wilkinson, and romps over the line to touch down between the posts.
77 min: Ireland fail to release the ball on the floor, on the halfway line to the right. Wilkinson strokes one towards the right-hand corner. It only reaches the 22, thoug England will be able to set up one big push from there.
80 min: O'Gara kicks clear from deep. England have a line out just inside the Irish 22, on the right. The clock ticks over 80 minutes: they need to score a try in this phase to keep their grand-slam hopes alive! England work the ball left and right, but can't work a hole in the Irish defence. They're still pressing away ... 2ff7e9595c
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